The Dress Will Get Dirty

You’re having a once-in-a-lifetime celebration with the people you love most. And if you’re spending the entire time thinking about grass stains, dirt, or a smudge on your train, what are you actually experiencing?

Ask yourself:
What is the point of this dress?
Why are you wearing it?
What’s more important—keeping it pristine, or actually living in it?

Because after 15+ years of photographing weddings, I can tell you, without question, the stress of “preserving” the dress can make your wedding day (and therefore wedding photos) worse than they would be otherwise.

It stops you from walking through the field, dancing too hard, hugging too close, or even sitting down. For what? To hang it in a closet for 40 years? To maybe hand it down one day?

Out of the hundreds of weddings I’ve photographed, fewer than five brides wore an heirloom dress. That’s not because they didn’t love their moms. It’s because dresses age, tastes change, and bodies are different. A dress is sentimental, sure—but it doesn’t become more sentimental because it stayed clean.

(On a personal note, I had my wedding suit in the back of my closet only to get turned into swiss cheese by clothing moths. There’s no repairing it. It went into the trash. Oh well!)

The real memories aren’t made in the dress. They’re made while wearing the dress, living in it, getting it dirty while twirling through golden hour or running barefoot across a lawn with your new spouse.

It’s okay if your dress gets a little beat up. It means you used it. It means it was part of the story, not just a prop. Your favorite anything didn’t become your favorite because it was clean. It was because you used it.

You’ll hear it all day from family or friends. “Careful with the grass!” or “Watch the dress!”

They mean well, but they’re passing their own stress onto you.

Decide ahead of time that you don’t care. Like my bride Amanda said after someone gasped as she walked through mud: “This is what it’s for.”

Take the photo in the field. Go walk down that gravel path. Spill a little champagne. Dance so hard the hem comes loose.

You’ll be glad you did.